Saturday, July 21, 2007

A Properly Drawn Trombone Player...

This is by Corbett Vanoni
Visit him at
http://cvanoni.blogspot.com/
[The following is one of my pet peeves also. No one seems to be able to draw a trombone player correctly...]
random sketch

I'd like to take a break from sketches for a moment to talk to you all about something very, very important.
A long time ago I spoke to Steve Worth over at the ASIFA Animation Archive about how outraged I was that I never see a properly drawn trombone player. Vexed, irked and livid I was!

The concept behind holding and playing a trombone is a simple one, yet everytime I see a trombone in a cartoon they screw it up! Trumpet, Sousaphone and Piccolo players are struttin' around like pros while the trombone player fumbles with his slide and plays the fool!
random sketch

The problem seems to root itself in the initial GRIP of the instrument - most people just pick a spot at random and CLAMP a hand on it like it's welded tight. Then they get confused about how the slide moves - so they figure "if I get the hand anywhere near the slide it'll work. . ." the same way you'd try and cheat a punctuation test by placing your apostrophe directly above the "s" instead of before or after it.

random sketch

A) This lady has obviously never held a trombone in her life. Her right hand is CLAMPED onto the bell for dear life and her left hand (though pinky extended) is moving the slide when it should be holding the instrument.

B) This guy's form is so bad there are stink lines emanating from the end of his instrument. (eeew!) His trombone appears to be impaling him right through the chest, and he's trying to hold the trombone and move the slide in the SAME SPOT! What a retard!

C) When in doubt, hide any parts you're not sure of. This may mean placing your trombone player's hands behind his head, or putting the whole character behind a really fat tuba player.

D) Well this is just stupid. It almost looks correct, doesn't it? The hands are actually in the right positions! But the artist has designed a trombone to rival the best M. C. Escher creation. Try to figure out where all those ambiguous tubes are going and you'll see what I mean. Besides, Skippy here has it on the wrong shoulder.

FOLLOW MY SIMPLE DIAGRAMS FOR PROPER TROMBONE TECHNIQUE!

random sketch
FIG. 1: The trombone sits on the left shoulder and is held in place with the left hand. Specifically, the thumb (located on a horizontal bar) and the pinky and ring finger (located on a vertical bar). The index and and middle finger can move freely and are often rested on the mouthpiece.
The slide is moved to and fro in a nimbly-bimbly manner using the right hand. Specifically the thumb, index finger. Though any number of fingers can be used, as long as they exhibit a light touch.
DO NOT CLAMP THE RIGHT HAND ONTO THE SLIDE WITH A CLINCHED FIST! Only trombone players with shiny new helmets do that.
random sketch
FIG. 2: Here is a shot from the right side, showing a good view of all the plumbing! (photo has been cropped to eliminate the vulgar plumbing!) Look at how happy our subject is! Knowing that he is displaying proper trombone holding technique!
random sketch
FIG. 3: Here is a picture of some figs.

Help spread the word and fight improper trombone holding in cartoons.
I tell you what. . .if you draw me a trombone player correctly clenching his instrument, I'll post it up here on the blog for all the world to see so that people can see how smart you are!
http://cvanoni.blogspot.com/

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Big Sam's Funky Nation

I went down to the "Jack of the Wood" nightclub tonight and sat in with Big Sam's Funky Nation. They will definitely funk you out of your seat. Big Sam used to be the trombonist for the Dirty Dozen Brass Band and I can see why he went out on his own. Sam has good stage presence, a Big solid sound and a tight, well rehearsed group of musicians behind him. He puts on a good show and really knows how to keep the audience moving. It really is hard to stay in your seat while they are playing.
You can check out some of their music on the website at:
http://bigsamsfunkynation.com/
They have CDs and other collectibles available on the site along with their touring schedule and much more. Big Sam's Funky Nation recently played at the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival
and they will once again be touring with Elvis Costello and Allen Toussaint this summer, hitting the Europe Festival circuit for the month of July.
Be sure to check them out.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Why Americans Don't Like Jazz

By Dyske Suematsu

The current market share of Jazz in America is mere 3 percent. That includes all the great ones like John Coltrane and the terrible ones like Kenny G (OK, this is just my own opinion). There are many organizations and individuals like Wynton Marsalis who are tirelessly trying to revive the genre, but it does not seem to be working. Why is this? Is there some sort of bad chemistry between the American culture and Jazz? As ironic as it may be, I happen to believe so.

One day, I was talking to my wife about the TV commercial for eBay where a chubby lady sings and dances to an appropriated version of “My Way” by Frank Sinatra. The lyrics were entirely re-written, and “my way” was transformed into “eBay”. I told her that they did a good job in adapting the original song. Then she said: “Ah, that’s why I like it so much!” She actually did not realize that it was adapted from Sinatra’s song.

My wife and I have always known how differently we listen to music. I tend to entirely ignore lyrics, while she tends to entirely ignore music. We are the two opposite ends of the spectrum in this sense, and it appears that my wife’s side is more common. Many of my friends think that I have a peculiar, or plain bad, taste for music. Whenever I say I like this song or that song, they look at me like I am crazy. Then they go on to explain why it is bad, and I realize that they are referring to the lyrics, not to the music. I then pay attention to the lyrics for the first time, and realize that they are right. The opposite happens often too where many of my friends love a particular song, and I can’t understand what’s good about it until I pay attention to the lyrics.

The eBay example is an extreme case where my wife could not recognize the original once the lyrics were swapped. To her, if you change the lyrics, it is an entirely different song. It is the other way around for me; in most cases, I would not notice any change in the lyrics. The eBay song was an exception; I only noticed it because it is a famous song used for a TV commercial.

I believe my wife’s way of listening to music is typically American, and my way of listening to music, typically Japanese. If you don’t speak English, any songs written in English are instrumental music. Singers turn into just another musical instrument. These days, no matter where you live, you cannot get away from the dominance of the American music. This means that most non-English speakers grow up listening to a lot of instrumental music. In Japan, I would say, it constitutes about half of what people listen to. When they are listening to Madonna, Michael Jackson, or Britney Spears, they have very little understanding of what their songs are about. In this sense, their ears are trained to listen to and enjoy instrumental music, which explains why Jazz is still so popular in Japan.

To be able to enjoy instrumental music, you must be able to appreciate abstract art, and that requires a certain amount of effort. Just mindlessly drinking wine, for instance, would not make you a wine connoisseur. Mindlessly looking at colors (which we all do every day) would not make you a color expert either. Great art demands much more from the audience than the popular art does.

In this sense, the American ears are getting lazier and lazier. It wasn’t so long ago that most people knew how to play a musical instrument or two. Now the vast majority of Americans couldn’t tell the difference between a saxophone and a trumpet. Thanks partially to music videos, music is now a form of visual art. The American culture is so visually dominant that a piece of music without visuals cannot command full attention of the audience. For Americans, music is a background element, a mere side dish to be served with the main course. If they are forced to listen to a piece of instrumental music without any visuals, they don’t know what to do with their eyes, much like the way a nervous speaker standing in front of a large audience struggles to figure out what to do with his hands. Eventually something visual that has nothing to do with the music grabs their attention and the music is push to the background.

If you have written your own music, you have probably experienced this before: You play it for your friends to get their opinions. For about 10 seconds, everyone is silent. After 20 seconds, their eyes start to wander around. After 30 seconds, someone says something, which triggers everyone else to speak up. After 40 seconds, no one is actually listening to your music. I grew up sitting in front of the stereo with my father, closing our eyes, listening only to what came out of the speakers. This would go on for an hour or two as if we were watching a movie. It wasn’t just me; many of my friends did the same. Who does that anymore? In today’s living rooms, stereos are treated as accessories to television sets.

Visual dominancy isn’t the only problem. The bigger problem is the dominance of our thought. Most Americans do not know what to do with abstraction in general. To be able to fully appreciate abstraction, you must be able to turn off your thought, or at least be able to put your thought into the background. This is not as easy as it might seem. In modern art museums, most people’s minds are dominated by thoughts like: “Even I could do this.” Or, “Why is this in a museum?” Or, “This looks like my bed sheet.” Etc.. They are unable to let the abstraction affect their emotions directly; their experience must be filtered through interpretations. In a way, this is a defense mechanism. It is a way to deal with fears like, “If I admit that I don’t understand this, I’ll look unsophisticated.” This type of fear fills their minds with noise, and they become unable to see, hear, or taste.

This is why songs with lyrics in your own language and paintings with recognizable objects are easier for most people to appreciate. They give their minds something to do. It is like holding a pen in your hand when you are speaking in front of a large audience; you become less nervous because your hands have something to do.

Aesthetically, the paintings of Mark Rothko and those of Monet are quite similar, but the former is utterly unacceptable for many people even though they consider the latter to be a master. The difference is that in Monet’s paintings, you can still see things represented in them: rivers, trees, mountains, houses, and so forth. The audience interprets these objects, and projects their own beautiful memories onto the paintings, which makes the whole process much easier. In Mark Rothko’s paintings, there is nothing they can mentally grab on to. What you see is what you get; there is nothing to interpret. So, the audience is left without a pen to hold on to.

The same happens to instrumental music. If there are no lyrics, that is, if there is nothing for the minds to interpret, projecting of any emotional values becomes rather difficult. As soon as the lyrics speak of love, sex, racism, evil corporations, loneliness, cops, etc., all sorts of emotions swell up. Jazz to most people is like a color on a wall; unless you hung something on it, they don’t even notice it.

This rather unfortunate trend in the American culture seems to be irreversible. The popularity of Rap music seems to be a clear sign of this trend. I can appreciate Rap music for what it is, and I see nothing wrong with it, but it does not promote the full development of musical ears. If the song has any musical substance, it can be played on a piano alone (without a singer or any other instruments), and we would still enjoy it. The lack of musical substance becomes clearly visible if you would take many of today’s popular songs, and play them on a piano alone. Many of them would utilize hardly more than a few keys. Perhaps this trend would promote the appreciation of poetry, but it certainly would not promote the appreciation of music as an abstract form of art.

If we were to reverse this trend, we would need to make a conscious effort in promoting the abstract aspect of music. For instance, play more instrumental music in schools or teach how to play an instrument instead of how to sing. We could go as far as to teach kids in school instrumental music only, because their musical exposure outside of school would be dominated by non-instrumental music anyway. It would be a good way to balance things out.

This problem extends far beyond the American disinterest for Jazz; it is a problem for music in general. The dominance of words and visuals in the American culture has lead people to believe that listening to Rap or watching music videos is the full extent of what music has to offer. If this goes on, they’ll be missing a huge chunk of what life has to offer.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

How Jarrett Became A Music Pirate

musicpirate.jpg

[This is an article from consumerist.com. The protagonist here- Jarrett, may be a little computer illiterate but he is indicative of many thousands of new and older computer users that can't or don't want to understand the workings behind many of the new technologies. The major music companies better wise up to this or change will be coming; probably to their detriment...]

Does DRM drive even honest well-meaning people to piracy? Yes, of course it does.
Reader and music lover Jarrett tried to send the following "detailed, passionate complaint letter" to Rhino, but their only reply was:

450 Server configuration problem
Good for us, because Jerrett decided to send his letter to us. So, without delay, here is "How I Become A Music Pirate" by Jarrett.

Jarrett writes:

How I Became A Music Pirate

I thought I was the music industry's dream consumer.

As a 40 year old male with a long-standing passion for "all things music," I've spent a bundle on my collection. In college most of my waking hours were spent wandering around record stores, swap meets and record conventions, much to the dismay of the women I was ostensibly dating. Then again, the fact that I also worked as a DJ at the radio station and hung out with obsessive record collector types probably didn't help matters in the romance department.

Then while in grad school in the 1990s, I became busy replacing many of my vinyl releases with CD's. At the same time, entrepreneurial music industry types began to exploit the market for out-of-print recordings by reissuing long out-of-print records on CD formats, which of course I instantly snapped up.

So here I sit circa 2007 with a house filled with over 1000 vinyl records and around 800 CD's. If you figure about $12 per recording as an accurate average, that's somewhere around $20,000. Not a bad chunk of change for the music business, I say.

Last week while I was busy importing my CD's into iTunes so I could listen to them on my iPod (a most tedious task), I hopped on the internet. iTunes was busy importing a Luna CD, one of my favorite bands, so I decided to see what they were up to since they disbanded a few years back. After a few clicks in Google, I found a blog site describing a posthumous, internet-only release of a collection of covers the band had recorded throughout their career. While I already had many of the songs (they were often featured on b-sides and imported singles, etc.), I couldn't resist tracking down this compilation. As I read further on the blog site I encountered a link to a .zip file containing the entire collection ripped as 128kbps mp3's.

While I must admit being tempted to simply click away and download the collection, I though to myself, "Well, if I buy the music it's only $10, and this way I will get high quality .WAV files. Besides, it's not like Luna were getting rich off of their careers, they could use the money..."

So I headed to Rhino's online store, purchased the music, and downloaded the files.

A little later that evening, I tried to move the .WMA files into iTunes, when I received an error message telling me that iTunes could not import them because they were copy protected. I downloaded the files again (which took another 12 minutes) and again, the same message.

So I called Rhino customer support and after an 8 minute wait spoke with a representative. She informed me that the files were indeed copy protected so that I could only play them on specific music players, most notably not iTunes.

"You don't understand," I said, "These files were not copied or pirated, I actually purchased them."

"Well" she responded, "You didn't actually purchase the files, you really purchased a license to listen to the music, and the license is very specific about how they can be played or listened to."

Now I was baffled. "Records never came with any such restrictions," I said.

She replied, "Well they were supposed to, but we weren't able to enforce those licenses back then, and now we can"

She later went on to explain that I could burn the songs to a CD and listen to them in a regular CD player, but I would need an additional Windows based music player to listen to them on my computer. But either way, she suggested there was no way the files could be played on my iPod.

Frustrated, I hung up and began my search for a Windows application to allow me to burn the music to a CD. After downloading Nero and firing it up, imagine my frustration when I receive another error message telling me it cannot locate the licenses for the music I purchased.

I call Rhino again, and this time speak to a young male CSR. He explains that I need updated licenses in order to burn the music and often the problem is that many firewalls will allow the music to pass through the firewall, but not the licenses because of their encryption schemes. Lest you think I am exaggerating, I included below the following text from their website (apparently this is a big enough problem that it warrants mentioning in their FAQ):

1. Temporarily disable all firewall and pop-up blocker software you may be running on your computer.

2. Attempt the download again

If the Licensing portion of the download is still hanging, please update the Digital Rights Management (DRM) component on your computer via the following URL: http://drmlicense.one.microsoft.com/Indivsite/indivit2.htm

The friendly CSR representative then suggests that I try once more to download the files and licenses and if I still have no luck to try accessing the internet from other providers such as a local coffee shop, library, or work computer.

"Basically, just keep downloading the music until you find a gateway that let's your licenses through without problems"

While I would like to say I responded with something witty, I must admit to being completely flummoxed. There I sat, a loyal music fan who has shelled out actual money to a business that is supposed to be having financial problems, and the best they can do is tell me to wander the streets of Seattle looking for different internet providers who might allow me to download the music that I have already paid for, music that I have spent the better part of three house trying to listen to, and which is still unusable?

How on earth have things come to this?!?!?!

Honestly, if this is the best you can do, you're business is in really, really serious trouble.

I mean, could you imagine the consumer response if Coke could only be consumed from specific Coke-approved equipment, and then only in the specific ways that the folks at Coke wanted the product to be consumed. "drinking Coke with fast food is no problem, but we must warn you that your license forbids the mixing of Coke with any alcoholic beverages..."

In the end, I never was able to get the music to play on anything--my computer, on a CD or on my iPod. I invested $10, several hours of my time, and my reward was, well, nothing.

I'd like to say I was outraged, but in the end I must admit to feeling remarkably sad and deflated over the whole process. See, the thing is, I was raised on music. I was saved by music. I (used to) live for music. Lester Bangs wasn't my idol, he was my soul mate (in a matter of speaking).

I've devoted a not-inconsequential chunk of my life to collecting music; to tracking down obscure records, cassettes, 8-Tracks and CD's of all genres and styles. And now apparently that is all but over. Music has somehow evolved from tangible things into amorphous collections of 1's and 0's guarded over by interested parties as if they were gold bullion. How so very sad.

I would like to think that someone at a place like Rhino would care enough to not let these kinds of things happen. But alas, my suspicion is that anyone who would have been cool enough to work at Rhino in their heyday some twenty years ago would never be so callous, foolish or shallow to allow these kind of absurdities to occur.

Since I've resigned myself not to waste any more time with the music business, I suppose I'll have to resort to purchasing used CD's & records, or having my friends occasionally make me a copy of one of their newer CD's.

Call it piracy. Call it whatever you want. But at least I tried. I gave you several chances and you failed miserably at every level.

Jarrett

Well, it's a good thing you stopped Jarrett from sharing his files on the internet. Imagine! Losing a good customer! Oh wait. It's not free music that drives some people to piracy, it's the lack of a quality product from legitimate music sources. —MEGHANN MARCO

========================================================

Back in the day, during an interview Prince said what he loved about Napster was that you were able to get music that you would not be able to get anywhere else because that music is considered no longer financially viable.
For example, a friend was able to download Eddie Hazel's Games, Dames & Guitar Thangs... this was an album that was not available for many years... yet, he was able to find it on Napster.
The great thing about finding these tunes online was that you heard the needle drop and the faint scratches of a vinyl record. Someone took great care in recording these tracks.

Monday, January 22, 2007

My 2007 New Year's Resolution

BY JUDY ROBERTS
[This article appeared in the Chicago Jazz Magazine Jan/Feb 2007]
I hope that 2007 will be the year when jazz musicians and jazz fans decide that they've had enough and won't take it anymore. The corporate dictatorship currently controlling the music we get to hear needs to be overthrown.
The fact that we are being deprived of one of the greatest radio shows of all time, Piano Jazz, is reason enough for some kind of revolution. Because the corporate bean-counters have been allowed to infiltrate Public Radio, we are no longer allowed to have Marian McPartland.
Music is being used as both a weapon and hostage by those in power. WBEZ jazz-turned-talk radio is just a recent high profile example. The anti-art, logic-defying corporate attacks are continually making sneaky inroads into our daily lives. Executives who run pharmacies and supermarkets have come up with the notion that revenues will increase if they blast inescapable rock music overhead while we innocently try to shop for gro­ceries or pick up our prescriptions.
A few weeks before Christmas, I went to my local suburban Pier One store for some holiday browsing. The minute I got inside, I was bombarded by the usual unavoidable "background" music. This is annoying all year long, but during the Christmas shopping season, I was at least hoping to get a little relief with some mood-enhancing seasonal fare.
But instead of the feel-good, sales-inducing Ella or Frank or Armstrong tunes that would have put me into the sing-along mode, I was stunned into a grumpy silence by the blaring sounds of a garage-band-in-a-box version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." As I stood there in disbelief while the assault of the ruined holiday classics continued, I looked around and saw that every cus­tomer in the place was in my "demo­graphic." In other words, no Generation X-ers, no backward caps, no teens, no kids.
So why blast these perverted techno­pop destroyers of "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" at adult shoppers, instead of offering the much more appro­priate (and of course totally superior) Bing Crosby/Nat Cole originals? Because somewhere, in some office, some corpo­rate whiz-kid has once again exerted his influence in a situation for which he is not the least bit qualified.
The fact that a spastic two-chord ver­sion of "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" is all wrong for a Mel Torme-loving clientele like those in my demographic group will never be addressed. The corpo­rate "suit" in charge (much like the ubiq­uitous hotel Food & Beverage Director and the young, arrogant bistro manager) will soon move on to some other job, where he/she will be involved in foisting more inappropriate musical choices onto the public.
Then there's the disparity between the kind of live music people want to hear and the kind of music they're getting. This hits me the hardest where I live as a performing jazz artist with fans I care about. Since I play many nights a week in a variety of settings and am in personal contact with a good cross-section of active listeners, I continually hear the ongoing concerns of a very disappointed jazz pub­lic. These people are expressing real sad­ness and dismay over the limited and inappropriate music that is now being tossed their way, not just via the media, but even at some of our local clubs, and at our city festivals. There is a growing pas­sion to reclaim the classy, sophisticated music that used to be ours.
While everything wasn't perfect back in the sixties and seventies(as our memories sometimes trick us into believing) the fact
remains that there was a high level of quality that was expected by the music loving public. But these days, just like at Pier One,
the listener is at the mercy of decisions being made by the uninitiated, the uniformed, and the unin­spired.
Short of boycotting all stores, award shows and public music events, something has to be done to curtail the power of the people currently in charge. It's easy enough to avoid the Jane Monheit-wannabes at local winebars or the college jazz majors reading out of Realbooks at suburban steakhouses. But as adults who would like to participate and invest our energies in worthwhile music on a broader scale, we are tired of being force-fed inferior goods. As con­sumers and providers and enjoyers of the arts, we do not want to have our grocery shopping infiltrated by earsplitting rock, and we don't want to see the Grammy go to a disgustingly violent non-song. And if we can't control those things, then we would at least like to have our city jazz festivals not be compromised by the too often out-of touch people currently book­ing our public events. Their periodic sus­ceptibilities to jazz hoaxes are forcing increasing numbers of real jazz fans to run for the exits. The Revolution can start here.
On the keep-thinking-positive side of 2007, let's stay vigilant that the corporate body snatchers don't "get to" WDCB; and let's fervently hope that Joe Segal finds (or has already found) a new location for the Jazz Showcase, truly one of Chicago's great musical treasures.
Judy Roberts, named "Chicago's Favorite Jazz Woman" by the Chicago Tribune, is a Grammy-nominated pianist/vocalist/recording artist who has been serving the Chicago jazz scene for many years. For more information please go to www.judyroberts.com.